The Day The Ceiling Fell In

This was nowhere on the scale of Hurricane Katrina, and my heart goes out to everyone who was in her path. But in my little world, the fall of the ceiling made a significant statement.

Fortunately, no one was electrocuted. I say this because we first noticed the water as it was accumulating in the kitchen ceiling light fixture. By the time the plumber had located the leak, the ceiling was torn open end to end and the floor was ankle-deep in concrete.

This event occurred as my children were preparing to leave for college, my son for the first time. We were also approaching the closing date for the sale of my parent’s condo. I don’t have my mom or dad to turn to anymore and it all began to feel overwhelming.

But then I recalled one of the biggest life lessons I’ve learned: Use everything that happens to you. I’ve discovered that it’s not enough to just accept the reality of a situation; you have to work with it as well.

What are the possibilities? The lessons? How is your attitude working for you or against you? What inner strengths can you bring to bear?

It’s hard to be real positive when everyone and the dog are walking around blinking and coughing from concrete dust and particles. But with the kids leaving in two days, I didn’t have the luxury of feeling sorry for myself. Like the old game of Chutes and Ladders, I had to zip up to the next level in order to deal with everything.

We decided to use what had happened as an opportunity to move forward, and fix up the kitchen with an eye to what would be needed to sell the house in a few years. In that regard, the timing was fortunate, as there would be fewer people in the house needing to access that room. As for my parents’ condo sale, I had to accept that a certain amount of mourning was inevitable. I allowed myself some private space to give in to the deluge of nostalgic images and tears.

And then I made the decision to move on. We drove down to Carolina and participated in that strange empty-nester ritual of saying goodbye to life as we had known it – a mixture of sadness, and relief that we had made it this far in life. It definitely is an adjustment to say goodbye to your own childhood, and that of your children, at the same time but as my dad would have said, “It is what it is.”

So we’re back, and arranging for the repair and update of the kitchen. I also now have the opportunity to focus on my next book, and I’m grateful for that. And I definitely sense that my parents are with me -- there have been a lot of heartwarming “signs”. But the time has come to get current with where I find myself today.

The good news is that I’m doing this much faster than I used to. In the old days, it would take eons between my realization that something had happened and the recognition that I needed to adjust my approach. I resisted change with all of my being, and seemed to require persistent Universal nudges and eventually whacks from the proverbial 2x4.

I don’t have to experience that level of pain anymore. I’ve chosen to grow without it. Now I can see almost immediately when I’m drifting towards denial and take action to correct it. This frees up energy to work towards solutions rather than tying up that same energy in trying to avoid dealing with the situation.

Some things will always be more difficult for me, I know. It’s hard to stop those stubborn knee-jerk reactions. But my consciousness of “pushed buttons” has been raised sufficiently for me to handle them more quickly and effectively.

We’re all obviously works-in-progress, doing better on some days than others. However, I’m encouraged by my handling of the day the ceiling fell in. Relatively speaking, it was but a blip on the radar, but I used it to grow and become stronger.

I wish the same for you, and for all those who are facing much more monumental challenges.

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“Challenges are gifts that force us to search for a new center of gravity. Don't fight them. Just find a different way to stand.”

-- Oprah Winfrey